Bend, Not Break: A Life in Two Worlds by Mei Mei Fox, Ping Fu

Mei Mei Fox’s Bend, Not Break: A Life in Two Worlds is a riveting memoir about her journey of reconnecting with her Chinese heritage and making sense of her bicultural identity growing up in England. A native of China, she was adopted by a British couple when she was six weeks old and spent the rest of her childhood growing up in England. As her narrative travels from her happy childhood on the East Anglia coast, to her teenage years in Oxford, to her adult years in Paris and London, she unravels the complexities of belonging to two cultures and finding her true place in the world.

Mei Mei's unusual start to life left her yearning to understand her heritage and discover her “original identity”. Memories of her big Chinese family and the feeling of being loved and supported, lure her to search deeper into her roots. But as she soon discovers, this process of self-discovery is not easy and poses many questions and challenges along the way. Mei Mei experiences a multitude of culture clashes between her Chinese roots and her British surroundings and lifestyle. She struggles to reconcile distinct elements such as Mandarin and English, the pressure of having an excellent education and the responsibility to succeed, and the differences between the value systems of traditional Chinese culture and modern British culture.

Facing uncertainty and feeling isolated from her family, Mei Mei seeks solace in writing. Writing becomes a way for her to express her thoughts, feelings and experiences without being judged, allowing her to explore her identity without criticism. She begins by writing about her adoptive parents, who she credits for giving her a ‘map’ for navigating the two worlds she inhabits. Mei Mei paints vivid pictures of moments that reflect the layerings and complexities of what it feels like to be in two worlds: traditional Chinese customs, English school and social scenes, and the loss of her beloved big Chinese family.

As the narrative progresses, Mei Mei reveals the strength of her Chinese heritage and how it enabled her to step into each new phase of her life with resilience. Despite the odds, Mei Mei succeeds in reconciling the two worlds she inhabits and in reconciling her conflicting loyalties. By learning and forging connections between the two parts of her, she finds a deeper understanding of her identity and her place in the world.

This heartwarming story is both a tribute to her Chinese heritage and an affirmation of the many aspects of a bicultural identity, which is at once complex and yet so much richer than a single culture. Mei Mei uses her storytelling skills to move past her obstacles and to show that although there are struggles and dualities, being bicultural can also come with immense opportunities. Bend, Not Break is an inspirational story of courage, faith and resilience in the face of challenges, as Mei Mei’s story shows us that it is possible to find our own individual paths despite the obstacles that come with biculturalism.