Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations by William Ury

When we’re confronted with difficult negotiations, the encounter can often seem like a no-win situation. William Ury, author of "Getting Past No," argues that most people have a set response to difficult negotiations: either aggression or submission. But Ury encourages readers to take a different approach altogether and suggests a three-step negotiation process as the best way to move past challenging negotiations.

The first step Ury recommends is "separating the people from the problem." Ury argues that when negotiations become difficult, it’s easy to forget that we’re dealing with humans, not issues, and therefore it’s important to focus on the relationship between the two parties, not just the issue at hand. Ury encourages readers to be mindful of their actions, focusing on openness and a collaborative problem-solving approach.

The second step Ury suggests is to "focus on interests, not positions." In other words, rather than focusing on either parties’ individual desires, each should strive to come to an agreement that is beneficial to both. Ury suggests that, in order to do this, each party should attempt to express their interests and values openly in order to gain a better understanding of the other’s side of the argument.

Finally, Ury recommends focusing on outcomes and options. Ury states that, in order for two parties to come to an agreement, it’s important to focus on creating mutual gains. Ury encourages readers to explore different options in their negotiations and to think outside the box in order to come to mutually beneficial outcomes.

In addition to his three-step approach, Ury also provides readers with helpful tips for dealing with difficult negotiators, including maintaining control of the conversation, taking time to think, and using “no” as a tool for further exploration. Ury emphasizes that getting past no doesn’t necessarily mean winning - it’s about understanding where you’re both coming from and finding a solution that works for everyone.

By the end of its pages, "Getting Past No" will have readers equipped with the know-how to get past even the most difficult of negotiations. Ury has crafted an accessible and highly applicable guide on the art of negotiation, recommending a strategy that can not only save time and money, but also encourage understanding and empathy between two parties. With Ury’s guidance, readers have no excuse but to succeed in their negotiations.