Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) by Elliot Aronson is a popular non-fiction book published in 2007 exploring why people who make mistakes rarely acknowledge them. In Mistakes Were Made, Aronson aims to uncover how people's self-serving biases, disguised as self-enhancement strategies, prevent them from recognizing and admitting to personal mistakes, including their own.
The book begins by exploring why people avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes, and how they are motivated to justify or excuse their errors rather than acknowledging and learning from them. Aronson argues that, in general, most people are driven to protect their own positive, self-serving beliefs and reputations. When faced with the potential for harsh criticism, people often distort the truth or deny any wrongdoing.
The following chapters delves deeper into this phenomenon, examining how such behavior affects relationships, credibility, and trust. Aronson explains how, when faced with the potential for being judged harshly, we often employ self-serving bias in order to protect our own egos and perceptions of our own sense of moral righteousness. For example, Aronson discusses how people who commit a mistake might employ the “just world belief,” in order blame their failure on other factors besides their own actions and thus distract from their culpability.
Mistakes Were Made is an examination of the unconscious thought processes that drive our behavior and helps readers better understand why people consistently fail to recognize and accept their mistakes. Aronson also outlines practical strategies for overcoming such defensive behavior so that we may better accept personal responsibility and learn from our errors.
Furthermore, the book investigates the effects of self-justification on relationships when one person refuses to accept responsibility for his or her mistakes. Aronson discusses how, depending on the situation and relationship, this can lead to anger, resentment, and broken trust.
In the final chapters, Aronson explains ways that we can avoid self-justification and the consequences of rejecting responsibility. He outlines strategies for recognizing and admitting to flaws, owning up to mistakes, and forgiving yourself and learning from errors.
Overall, Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) is an insightful exploration of self-justification in a wide variety of circumstances and contexts. Aronson does a great job explaining the psychology behind why humans struggle to accept personal responsibility for their mistakes and offers numerous strategies for recognizing and learning from our own faults. By understanding this phenomenon better and recognizing ways to avoid the deceptive self-justification trap, readers can gain the courage needed to be more honest and accountable for their actions.
