The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self–Not Just Your “Good” Self–Drives Success and Fulfillment by Robert Biswas-Diener, Todd Kashdan

Being your true self, especially the parts you may not be so proud of, is a key driver of success and satisfaction. This is the main point of Robert Biswas-Diener’s book, The Upside of Your Dark Side. Through his thoughtful exploration of the dark side of human nature, Biswas-Diener emphasizes the importance of embracing one’s entire self—flaws and all—in order to truly reach success.

By honing in on the often overlooked and misunderstood link between the “dark side” and its potential for personal growth, Biswas-Diener provides valuable insight into how we can use our full range of emotions, attitudes, and behaviors to our full advantage. He argues that the positives and negatives of our personalities are inexorably linked, and that only by accepting both sides can we truly thrive.

By studying the lives of successful people from a variety of backgrounds, Biswas-Diener found that they all had certain qualities in common—such as grit, creativity, optimism, and resilience—all of which are rooted in the dark side of human nature. He also looks at various studies on topics such as guilt, aggression, and anxiety, and argues convincingly that instead of viewing these as negative qualities, they should be neutralized and used as creative moments of growth.

Furthermore, Biswas-Diener emphasizes the need for self-acceptance over self-criticism. Rather than trying to rid ourselves of our “blasted traits,” he encourages us to learn from them and use them to our advantage. He also encourages us to stop seeking validation from others and instead practice healthy self-validation. He explains that being truly comfortable with ourselves is essential for achieving success and fulfillment.

Most importantly, Biswas-Diener encourages us to keep an open mind and push ourselves to change in the areas where it could benefit us. He suggests that our dark side can be a useful tool for understanding and improving ourselves, and that our potential for growth depends on our willingness to accept and work with all aspects of our personality.

Ultimately, Biswas-Diener argues that our dark side can be harnessed as a source of strength rather than weakness. By recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses and by providing ourselves with healthy self-validation, we can take full advantage of our unique talents and reach levels of success and fulfillment we might have never thought possible.